A Mother's Ramblings

I've just finished reading Lovely Bones and am now reading A Perfect Day To Go To China. The books have made me introspective these days, what with being a mother of two daughters. I always thought that the true love of my life would be a man and even though I am married to a wonderful man, I find my daughters consume my life. I always thought that once my daughters grew up, they would journey off on their own path, returning occassionally for Sunday dinners and special occasions. Not so.

When they were in their terrible teens, I wanted to disowned them, but miraculously they outgrew those years of rebellion. Then followed a few years of independence where they got full time jobs, lived with boyfriends, experimented with life, and I hardly heard from them. Now like the prodigal son they have returned and I seem to see them more than ever. Although neither live at home anymore, one in Vancouver, the other currently in Toronto, we email and talk on the phone almost every day.

When they were kids a mother's kiss could make the booboos better, an ice cream cone could make you forget you weren't invite to a sleepover birthday party. Now, I miss them when I'm not with them. My heart breaks when theirs is broken. My heart soars with every accomplishment. They constantly creep into my art.

Looking back, I take full responsibility for their careers in the music industry. When they were little, along with the preverbial bedtime story, each could choose a song and we would sing together before lights out. When they began kindergarten, they began music lessons. The rule in our house was that everyone had to take some kind of music lessons, piano was just the start. Soon after, one switched to drums and trumpet (much to our neighbours chagrin) and the other to violin then to voice (that's an instrument too she would say). They took associated dance classes and acting classes to round out thier performance skills. We had our share of bands practicing in our basement, nail biting auditions, and obligatory parental presence at performances. To this day, I try to go to as many performances as I can, from smokey bars in Vancouver to award ceremonies elsewhere.

We always encouraged them to follow their dreams and they did; unfortunately we forgot to encourage them to try to include a stable income as part of that equation. So one is a drummer and the other a singer. Both have had success to some extent (both have had Juno nominations), although the family bank seems to bail them out all too frequently.